At exactly 5:30 AM, the blaring alarm woke the four teenage girls from a deep sleep. They tossed and turned until Blaire realized what the day had in store. Blaire woke the others and they hurriedly showered, got dressed, brushed their teeth, combed their hair, and were out the door in less than twenty minutes. By 6:00 AM, Blaire, Kristen, Stella, and Skylar hopped into the jeep with excitement. At 6:15 the girls reached the highway, blasting the car speakers with their all-time favorite music. They enjoyed the early morning ride, laughing, texting, taking pictures and videos, until it stopped. At exactly 6:17 AM the jeep collided with an eighteen wheeler, rolled down the highway, as Blaire was halfway through what she didn't know would be her last text.
Ralph chose the firm strip as a path because he needed to think, and only here could he allow his feet to move without having to watch them. Suddenly, pacing by the water, he was overcome with astonishment. He found himself understanding the weariness of this life, where every path was an improvisation and a considerable part of one's waking life was spent watching one's feet. He stopped, facing the strip, and remembering that first enthusiastic exploration as though it were part of a brighter childhood, he smiled jeeringly. [...] This wind pressed his grey shirt against his chest so that he noticed--in this new mood of comprehension--how the folds were stiff like cardboard, and unpleasant; noticed too how the frayed edges of his shorts were making an uncomfortable, pink area on the front of his thighs. With a convulsion of the mind, Ralph discovered dirt and decay, understood how much he disliked perpetually flicking the tangled hair out of his eyes, and at las...
You did a great job of making this story feel real, especially since it had to be so short. I love how you included the timeframe and made the ending so blunt. It creates a very powerful message.
ReplyDeleteThis is an extremely powerful post, and talks about the real problem and consequences of texting while driving. I love how you made the ending very sudden, because it was probably very sudden for the characters, and it almost makes you feel how they would.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting turn in the end. It has a great message in an unbelievable story.
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