“Mrs.
Miles, your son is very young, 18, correct?”
“17,” Mrs. Miles said.
“Ah, yes, right. 17. Wow, and to think he’d have to spend the rest of his life in jail, since he’s too young for the death penalty. Mhmm,” Detective Tom said, walking around the interrogation table, “If only there was a way to cut his sentence in half.” Detective Tom grinned, rested his hands on the table and nodded. “Oh, I know, and I think you do too, Mrs. Miles. All we need is a confession from him, and the two others who broke into the store.”
“Ah, yes, right. 17. Wow, and to think he’d have to spend the rest of his life in jail, since he’s too young for the death penalty. Mhmm,” Detective Tom said, walking around the interrogation table, “If only there was a way to cut his sentence in half.” Detective Tom grinned, rested his hands on the table and nodded. “Oh, I know, and I think you do too, Mrs. Miles. All we need is a confession from him, and the two others who broke into the store.”
Mrs. Miles looked uncomfortable. “You know he can’t do that,”
she said in a quiet voice. “He made a pact with his friends.”
“And wouldn’t you agree that if his father was still alive, he’d
want his son to tell the truth?”
Mrs. Miles jumped out of her chair, her face tense, her lips
pursed…. “Don’t bring my dead husband into this, you fool,” she said with an intense
fierceness in her voice.
“Listen” he said in a
calm, soothing voice, “All I want is the best for your son, Tim, but I can’t
help if you are not willing to cooperate with me.”
Mrs. Miles sat back down in her chair. “Is there any other way,”
she said.
“Well…” Detective Tom thought for a moment. “You said that Tim
made a promise to his friend not to say anything about that night, but you, Mrs. Miles
never made such a promise. With that said,” — a grin surfaced on Detective Tom’s
face— “I believe it’s best for you to tell me what happened that night. As the
mother, I’m sure you know something…”
Mrs. Miles
paused, nodded, and then started to speak, “I read my son’s journal. He never
tells me anything, so I have to find out other ways. It was the day after the
incident; his friends had already fled the state and were probably on their way
to Florida by the time I finished reading the entry.”
“What did it say?”
“It talked about how
my son and his two friends broke into the sports store and stole several
thousand dollars’ worth of merchandise. It said how they wanted to blow up the
place but the cops were on their tail.”
“Did it say their motives?” Detective Tom asked.
Mrs. Miles nodded. “Tim was angry because that sports store used
to be a coffee shop, where he and his friends hung out and played cards. The
coffee shop was a beloved place in our small town; somewhere we all went to
after a stressful day. I met my husband there. Tim and his father went there.”
“I mean, to think the victim was about to become a father. To
think that his wife relied on him working at the sports store. You see, all he
wanted to do was bring happiness to this rundown neighborhood.", Detective Tom stated.
“Liar!” Mrs. Miles said.
“Oh, I’m not lying,” Detective Mayhem held his hands up as if
under arrest. “I’m also not lying when I say the victim himself grew up in this
neighborhood as a kid.”
“No way.”
“Yes way. Oh, and he grew up on 2671 Grand Way Rd. Does that
house ring a bell?”
Mrs. Miles covered her mouth with her left hand. “I used to live
there,” she said, trying to hold back tears.
“The governor wanted to tear down this dump to
create hotels and stores but the victim didn’t want that since he grew up in
this area. He donated money, bought the old coffee shop, started his own
business and wanted to have a peaceful life with his family. Now, his child
will be fatherless. Do you know the amount of pain the baby will feel growing
up without her father?”
“And,” Detective Tom
continued, “The wife of the victim is here. Bring her in boys.” The officer brought in the
victim’s wife, Mrs. Richard, who was seven months pregnant. She sat down in a chair and stared
at Mrs. Miles.
“There is no use in
denying your involvement now,” Detective Tom said. “Let us be done with this
already. Tell us the whole truth and nothing but. Mrs. Richard desires that,
right. On account of your son, Tim, murdering her husband.”
“We’re waiting, Mrs. Miles,” Detective Tom
said.
“I-I can’t do this to my son…..”
“Okay, now,” the
detective paused to gather his thoughts. “Where were you on the night of the
crime?”
Mrs. Miles looked to the right as she recalled every last
detail. “I was their getaway vehicle,” she said in a quiet voice. Detective Tom,
the officer and Mrs. Richard were shocked by this statement. “They didn’t
tell me what they did… all they said was that they stole a few things, nothing
else. Nothing about murdering your husband!” Mrs. Miles looked over at Mrs. Richard
who had turned away in disgust.
Detective Tom asked one last question before finishing up his
interrogation. “Do you know who killed Mrs. Richard’s husband? Was it one of
your son’s friends? Or was it your son?”
Mrs. Miles shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know.”
With a simple head nod, Detective Tom ordered the officer to
arrest Mrs. Miles for being an accomplice to murder.
In my opinion, your dialogue is action packed! I love how you used words like "fierceness", "calm",and "soothing" to describe the tone and the reactions after a character said something. This also showed me that you took time in creating the perfect adjective for the character. Also, the detail you add about Mrs. Miles covering her mouth with her left hand is so descriptive!
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